How I lost my husband on Valentine’s Day

Boys like video games. Turns out, when they grow up and become men, they still like video games – trust me, I know. I made a dreadful mistake two years ago and I am still paying the price for it. As the devoted and loving wife that I am, I carefully analyzed different presents for Valentine’s Day that would bring my husband the most joy. Then, I foolishly settled on the most evil of them all. I presented my husband with, what I thought at the time, would be the best Valentine’s Day present ever: I bought him a Play Station 3 (PS3).

As he opened his present on February 14, my husband’s face lit up and in that moment, he absolutely worshipped me. In many ways, it really was the best present ever – but only for him. For me, it was a death sentence. I had dug my own marital grave; I had flung my husband into the arms of the enemy.

The initial outburst of love was to be the last emotion I ever drew from my husband. From then on, all of his affections were devoted to the dreaded machine. Day in and day out, the only thing that mattered was the PS3. I became completely secondary. The only words I would hear uttered in my direction now were “Get out of the way.”

Even when we had company at home, I never had company. Everybody who walked through the doors of our home was roped in by the magic of the malicious PS3. Initially, I tried my very best to be part of the merriment, but try as I may to befriend the enemy, the enemy hated me. I was absolutely no good at any game, and rather than spending some time with my husband, I ended up securing his wrath because I made a terrible teammate.

Ladies, take it from me, that fleeting moment of your husband’s adoration when you hand him the gaming console is not worth the lifetime of agony that you will undoubtedly face after you become a nonexistent entity in front of the Play Station.

There are much better gifts out there, more suited to both of you this Valentine’s Day, than a gaming console. Go with a wallet or cologne this year. Subsidize the gift by very generously offering your husband the opportunity to go to his friend’s house to play Xbox or Play Station. This would make the perfect gift.

Do not fool yourself into thinking that buying your husband a gaming console will secure his adoration for your forever.

Take it from a Play Station Widow, we live a hard life and you do not want to join the club.

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As a side note, just take a look at my husband’s suitcase from earlier this year.

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7 thoughts on “How I lost my husband on Valentine’s Day

  1. Wo! I could not help but to comment. I want to know is it really that bad. A widow. That is so mind blowing. But I think I could understand because my husband is in love with the television set. He sits in front of it day and night but I thank God he has to go out to work. LOL! But I read somewhere that men are creating testosterone when they tune out everyone and watch TV for a few hours. So that’s what I accept it for now. I tease him and say oops I almost forgot your building testo. Sorry for interupting you. Whenever I forget and start talking. LOL! I think I would seriously consider marriage counseling if things were much worse. Like you say on this post. I would probably take a hammer and smash the doggone thing in a fit of rage. Well don’t take that as advise. I am only kidding. http://lovelyseasonscomeandgo.wordpress.com

  2. women dont want their men to have any “me” time… me time is required by both the wife and the husband to pursue something they like to do on their own. a couple is a tag team,but push partnership in EVERYTHING for too long is bound to get both parties bored!

    They say “distance makes hearts grow fonder”. For gods sake stop treating husbands like they are an egg and you are a hen!

  3. Pingback: Slap her on the back or crack a joke? What to do when a woman is crying | zahrapeer

  4. Pingback: LIFE AS A HUMAN – What to do when a woman is crying

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